Some crass humor for that gluteus maximus.

We had our Fantasy Football draft last night because we are total geeks. A player got picked and my friend remarked that the player was molested as a child and that it was a touching story. I didn't tell anybody but my bladder released a small amount of urine into my undies as I laughed uncontrollably.

Dang!

I was playing pool with my buddy Richard last night. He was soundly beating me and so I rightly called him a Dick. It did not have the effect I'd hoped for.

I submit a sincere question.

Do think female cannibals get hungry or tempted when performing fellatio?

Makes sense right?

The next time someone asks me how I'm doing I will respond with: Shabby. That way down the road I can answer truthfully if I ever say "Not too shabby." You must first be shabby to subsequently be not too shabby, for comparative purposes. If you were here, I would slap you out of principle.

This post probably qualifies me as an a-hole.

The nights I cause people to cry themselves to sleep are the nights I smile myself to sleep.

***Attention Ladies***

I think well on my feet. I perform even better off my feet.

Ehh!! See what I did there? Yeah.

Question:

If the makers of Croc shoes made an athletic cup, would it be called a Crotch Croc?

Yeah, I think so.