Truly Amazing

In addition to being a sex machine, I am now a posting machine (when compared to past monthly averages.) It is much easier to post a thought than to write a whole story or delineate one of many miserable experiences. I just took my summer Organic Chemistry final this morning so I believe it to be time for another story. Hold your breath, and as always, slap yourself.

Ooohh baby!!

So I have been seriously contemplating getting a moob job. Nothing major, somewhere in the C+ range. Thoughts?

Hmmm........

I wish I was so clever I could outwit myself. That would be sweet and stuff.

No Title (In Other Words, I'm Unable to Think One Up. See Below For Reason)

Aiding my ability to not do well in Organic Chemistry is the fact that I don't really care this summer. My mind is broken. My butt is too from repeated kicks from professors. Does anyone know where I can buy new ones? There I go again, supposing someone reads this. Forgive me self. You're forgiven, just try harder next semester. Will do.

Wow! I just had a conversation with myself. What's even worse is that I told myself that. That's super special. I need a hug and someone to tell me I'm beautiful.

What would you have me do Mr. Hawking?

If I ever meet Stephen Hawking, I would do the robot while he spoke. When he mechanically asks what I am doing, I will tell him that I am interpretively dancing his words.

[Imagine a clever title here]

I would say sorry for not updating often but that would require someone to apologize to. I can't imagine that anybody reads this thing. If so, my apologies. Not for not posting but for reading my blog. Oh wait there is one person who reads this! Hi mom! No, that's a lie. Nobody reads this. [sniffle]

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Sorry I'm back from audibly weeping in the corner. It's not that I have a shortage of things to say. I could fill many hard drives with my dating misadventures. I could even synthesize endless upon endless fictional stories. I could extol the virtues of what it is to be me. But alas, I haven't the time. [sniffle]

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A bug flew into my eye causing it to tear and then into my throat causing me to cough it out. I realize it looked and sounded like I was crying again but I wasn't. I promise. My man card only allots me one cry a month.