This may be the only time you'll hear this from me.

My apologies for not posting more often. I do not have the time I once did when I wrote more frequently. You must understand, the DAT won't take itself people so relax! I will try to be better at posting more regularly. By regularly I mean whenever the hell I feel like it. Tell your sister to quit calling me and using the same, tired line of, "Spending more time with my...errr...the female anatomy will only help you on the DAT." I realize this. That is why I continuously broaden the field of female subjects I study and not foolishly only spend time with her. That's a lie, my only girl right now is the DAT. Regardless of that statement, tell your sister to stop calling. It's like she's a verbal rapist. No means no. How should I expect a different reaction after I turn them into addicts after one session you ask? This is what I do.

Questions:

Do you suffer from E.D., (Erectile Dysfunction?) Are you sick of saying that your pecker is permanently stuck in a penile refractory period until that magic little pill gets ingested and awakens it? Are you sick of waiting an hour for Viagra to kick in? Would you like spontaneity to be a part of your love life again?

Well good news!!

Introducing the cure:








Pipe Cleaner

It’s going to hurt like hell going in but you’ll be up and ready to go in as much time as it takes you to man it in there. It may remind you of going to the clinic to get swabbed/tested after a suspicious encounter with a young philly. You’re probably calculating a pain-to-benefit analysis in your mind right now. You may even conclude that the pain outweighs the benefit.

First let me say this, quit being a little girl. Your little buddy standing at attention is not the only benefit. With a urethra crammed full of pipe cleaner, your little swimmers will be unable to successfully navigate through the gauntlet of clingy fuzz. No worry of a condom breaking!! Don’t be a douche bag and think it’ll protect you from STD’s. All it will do is prevent your little Michaels Phelp’s from entering the pool. Still not convinced?

Let me again remind you of the thing dangling from your pelvis and to act accordingly. Are you bored with normal sexual motions? Do you want to be able to mix it up a little bit but just don’t know how? Problem solved. One of the many enjoyable things to do with pipe cleaner is bend it into funny shapes. I will not go into detail about the many applications of this ability other than to say…think corkscrew. Sure you may have screwed before but have you ever corkscrewed? I didn’t think so. Corkscrew may also be referred to as “The Pigtail,” “The Propeller” or “The Twister.” Try these or any of the limitless other possibilities. It’s your boner, have fun with it. I know she will!