I have never had my ass ridden but I can no longer say I have never had my ass driven.

I…uhhh…I was…[clear throat]…I was raped yesterday…and it wasn’t by a woman.

Some insensitive young man felt it necessary to sodomize me yesterday. He didn’t buy me a drink, dinner or tell me I’m handsome. Nothing. Tactless bastard! To make my embarrassment complete, he did it right in the open for all to witness. It was on the freeway.

I was anally probed by an automobile yesterday. Some dill hole felt the safest place to drive his car was up my ass.

I feel so dirty. I feel like Heath Ledger or Jake Gyllenhaal, whichever one was catching in the movie.