Observations are sometimes sickening.

Me: You strike me as the type of guy that likes to cuddle up on another dude, rub dongs and then say you’re not gay.
Guy: You have impeccable perception skills but I’m not gay.
Me: Of course not. Rubbing dongs with another dude is in no way gay.
Guy: I know, right?
Me: False. It is totally gay.
Guy: I don’t follow.
Me: That’s probably because you’re up front getting your tailbone pounded into jelly.
Guy: I meant I don’t understand your reasoning.
Me: Therein lies the problem. Participating in gay acts make you gay.
Guy: Genetics makes a person gay.
Me: Don’t compound the problem by acting like an idiot. Gays have tried using that flimsy excuse for years. Having a genetic predisposition to dudes is entirely implausible. Look I don’t want to have this conversation with you, I simply felt compelled to voice my astute observation. I guess that makes me as observant as you are gay.
Guy: That’s really observant.
Me: That’s really gross.