A couple snippets of conversations I had today.

Slightly altered conversations I should say. Never been a stickler for actuality when embellishment is always an option.


Me: Let me know if your boobs get lonely and need to be held.
Hot friend: My boobs are lonely and need to be held.
Me: Slut.
Hot friend: Sob, sob. Weep, weep.
Me: Your mascara’s running.


Other hot friend: I need a money tree.
Me: Is your money bush inadequate?
Other hot friend: ???
Me: Or money no-bush, I don’t know your grooming patterns.
Other hot friend: *blink, blink*
Me: You know, prostitution…
Other hot friend: [Arms fold and an eyebrow elevates as her head tilts]
Me: Hmmm…I think I’ll go f myself.
Other hot friend: With a sandpaper glove on.
Me: Right.