Ahh...Nicole.

Despite my attempt to cajole her into a date one evening, I failed to impress her. She spurned all my later invitations too. Ruminations leave me to the conclusion that I am a negative value of desirable. It’s as though I am shit on legs and leave shit stains and remnants wherever I go. I truly leave people with a bad taste in their mouth.

Psyche! I put the hurt on her. She is now recovering in a wheelchair. E leaves em hurtin for certain.

My sexual training began not with young, mindless girls hoping to hump themselves into an identity. My training began with seasoned, experienced women.* Not the royalty of shady women that plied their trade on the streets but older women with a taste for younger men. Older, lovely, uninhibited, insatiable women. Cougars. There’s nothing like a woman that knows what she wants and how to take it. (Pun? You decide.)

My accomplished skills have been honed from many hours of sweat equity between the sheets, in cars, on couches, on floors, etc. If you see a gorgeous chick who is bow-legged, you know she’s gotten the business from me. It’s what I do folks.

*Sadly there were a few accidents where I consorted with foul smelling rabble.