For all the morons that think/thought the George Forman Grill is/was revolutionary.

You make me sad to be linked to you by species. Classification is clearly flawed.

Lean, mean, grilling machine? Not so much. Fat collector? I’d say so.

If you retards wanted to make a hamburger with reduced fat content and thereby cleverly purchased a George Forman Grill …wait before I go on, reread that last sentence. Do you feel stupidity enveloping you? If not, soon. Healthily improve a hamburger? Morons!

You- But E that’s the beauty of the George Forman Grill, you can cook a variety of things on it not just burgers!

Me- You could have put Sherlock Holmes out of business with your powerful deductions and brilliant observations. I hope your next breath somehow becomes viscous and renders you dead. A greasy burger best illustrates the point. Now look at the ground for 15 minutes as way of expiation. Better yet, keep it shut.

The George Forman Grill marinates the burger in its own grease sealing it within the burger as it travels down the sloping grease troughs. Conversely, a regular grill allows the expelled grease to casually drip to a fiery demise through its slotted rack. I wonder if you’re suffering from mental infirmities and not Ol’ Georgie whose been punched more than Courtney Love’s whore card. How did you get succored into thinking this was a good investment?

You- Well E, aside from foolishly thinking it would make me healthier, the knowledge that I can use it in and outside my house versus only outside with a grill was very appealing. Versatility played a vital role in my purchasing decision.

Me- You lazy SOB!!! You would rather funk up the whole house with burger aroma than walk outside? Does the concept of physical exercise make you ill? I didn’t think I could be any more disappointed in you. Thank you for lowering yourself to accomplish the feat. I'll bet your parents are so proud. You are truly pathetic.

You- Why E it seems you have no good response to that!!

Me- False. Your face.

In summary, you suck if you own a George Forman Grill. I would continue delineating the various reasons of why this product's aim was to gullible, mindless drones but it’s become boring. You could have easily avoided an imprudent purchase by exerting a modicum of brain power. But hey! At least you have a collecting dish full of grease to show how healthy you are, right? Douche bag!!!