Mothers!

Your children are now safe again. The mustachioed man shaved his upper lip. I am now sans stache. Much like Sampson, any power I had ever attained disappeared with a clipping sound similar to a hungry wood chipper with a big redwood being crammed in its mouth. I should have worn protective eyewear because the hair clippings were like hot shards of glass striking my retinas and face. I miss it and I know it misses me.

Make no mistake ladies, mustache rides are still available.* No need to sign up, just mount up.** Anytime. Anyplace.

*Ask about our frequent rider miles
**Please consult weight restrictions before.

Weight Restrictions
No fat chicks. No exceptions. If you're wondering if you are fat, you're fat and needn't attempt.