Oh and by the way women......

You can't sing! At all. So shut the hell up!!

Girls must think I am a music producer disguised as a good looking guy who travels incognito looking for the next big singing talent. Sitting next to me does not equate to a singing audition. It is, however, the best way to get your larynx kicked in repeatedly. I know 99% of women can't sing. Please stop increasing that percentage by singing next to me, in my vicinity, within earshot, or eyeshot for that matter. I don't want to see you singing and have my brain mistakenly fill in the horrible notes I know someone within earshot of you is suffering from. When music is on in the background, car, restaurant, elevator, anywhere, that is NOT a cue for you to begin singing. Please let me enjoy or not enjoy the song as sung by its original singer. Your voice makes a magical song unbearable. No amount of singing makes you any better. In fact, it makes you worse. Each time I suffer mercilessly from another tone deaf cow, I mentally add another reason to destroy them.

Please women!! A simple request from a simple man. Do not sing, hum, tap your finger/foot to the beat when you're around me. Just listen. I'm not going to spontaneously rip off my good looking guy disguise and furnish you with some lucrative recording contract. The only document I can think of to supply you with would be a restraining order if you don't cease and desist with the auditory assault.