My Fantasy Football teams are garbage.

My teams are great on paper but can't get it together to pull out a W. Week one was solid. Ensuing weeks have sucked engorged donkey genitalia. Watching their regression makes me want to throw up. It's as if my teams and the food I've eaten have conspired against me and established an esophageal recapture program. Despite my attempts to turn this anti-gravy train around, my teams have parlayed their suckiness with injuries. Nice job ladies.

I believe this post in many ways illustrates my proclivity for nerdism. Yee haw!!!