Something to try.

I was at the dentist this morning taking breaths from a nitrous oxide delivery apparatus. My head was pleasantly spinning about as I watched The Price is Right. That is a damn good show. Drew Carey is a fine replacement for Bob Barker much like Conan is a fine replacement for Jay Leno, aka douche bag central. Just give me one good whack at that ant hill he calls a chin. I digress. The hygienist strolls in to scratch any unpleasant calculus off my Chiclets. While she's busy swinging the instrument like it were an ice pick, I momentarily looked up to notice that TPIR has ended and a soap opera had begun. I have never watched an episode of any soap opera so I can only speculate as to the content. Whorish activities, killing, slutting, cheating, overacting, excessive dramatic pauses, STD swapping, music that has a lot of theatrical violin crescendos, things of that nature.

However, today whilst affably enjoying the magic gas, I took a few minutes to study the gripping appeal these shows have to some people, namely housewives and queers. I did so without the headphones plugged into my ear holes. I endeavored to make up my own storyline that I’m sure was completely incongruous with the actual fictional plot. That was some funny sheeeit.* I cordially invite you to try it one day when you have a spare moment. Bonus if you have a nitrous oxide tank lying around you can take pulls from or a big fat philly blunt, son!

*Cannot be held responsible for not having a similar or enjoyable experience because I have a vibrant imagination that oft times runs rampant, especially when on nitrous. Also because I am cool and you are not.