Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?

"And then we...blah...blah...blah..."

Her errant supposition that I gave a shit about anything she was saying was annoying. This woman was oppressively vapid and to make matters worse she thought she was the cutest little number. Her every word taunted my decreasing ability to not drive into a tree to silence her. Every successive word offended me more than the last. I don’t know what she did to piss me off. She was just one of those people that instantly agitates you for no reason. It didn't matter what she did the same result would ensue, increased annoyance for me. Plus she smelled like shit. I don't know if she brushed her teeth with dog shit or just smelled that way but damn! Apparently her sense of olfaction bailed with her personal hygene. Gross.

“It was so cute! You should have been there! What happened next was so funny. We…blah blah…frigging…blah…”

If asked to quantify the amount I cared, I would report a large negative value. Each second spent with her was greeted with a silent inquiry of, “Why me? How could I have drawn the implausible misfortune of having to endure this misery?" Killing Octo-Mom and all her children would not amass someone the karma that was currently kicking my ass. Mentally rolodexing through some possible reasons of why made me realize that I am actually a horrible person and rightly deserve every femtosecond of what I’m getting. Karma you cruel bitch!! I’ve never killed anybody but you’ve read other entries of mine. You know I deserve it more than anyone else. Penance is exacting and delivered in ways we least appreciate.

"I was laughing so hard. You would have been too if you were there."

Highly doubtful, bitch. That tree looks sturdy enough to disallow me from walking away from after impact. [swerve]